Dirty Little Secrets
by SinfulSkye
Summary: Everyone has their own 'dirty little secrets' everyone, even the infamous Dark Mousy and the calm, collected Satoshi. When everyone's secrets come out, they are forced to face what they fled from for so long. Including love. Possible Yaoi, Dariku
1. Satoshi's Secret: The Dagger

My footsteps echo on the tile floor: Click, click. Like nails drumming on a window pain while the soul watches the falling rain slam into the ground. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going; just that getting out of here is something I need to do. Maybe it's how a stallion feels when the sunlight shines on his mane and his tail swishes impatiently because it knows wherever it is, that's not the right place for it. Not that I really know what the sun and wind and rain feels like, because I've been too cold, and too numb to notice it. Sure, there is warmth that touches my skin like gentle fingers, but yet I can't feel anymore than that, and I know I should. The wind is a slight annoyance that comes occasionally, biting at the skin. I've heard it feels like kisses on the cheek, but there is no deeper meaning to wind than a natural occurrence. Rain is cold, harsh and bitter. That's just nature in a nutshell. Its funny how something that seemingly complex can be put into a few simple words. Like me. Everyone whispers

"Oh, it's Satoshi. I wonder what he's thinking." Or "Hiwatari, you're quiet. What are you thinking?" Well, usually I'm thinking about Dark, Krad, or Niwa. Why do I think about Niwa so much? Krad says I'm attached to him. Krad knows nothing, and yet he knows everything at the same time. I often wonder if Niwa feels the same way, trapped by his other soul. Somehow I don't think so. He is pure, so it should be no bother to him if the kaitou hears his thoughts. But I'm not pure – so I care. Caring about anything is foolish. That's the one thing Krad and I agree on. He says that he cares about me…but that has to be a lie. Secretly, if there are any secrets in his soul, we have a hate/hate relationship. I know it. Sure, he whispers "Master, master, stop hurting yourself" and the poisonous lie of "I care about you more than anything" . His lie is a poison stronger than cyanide, because while cyanide and arsenic seep through the body, lies seep through the soul. You can't nullify poison of the soul. It kills you from the inside out. Slowly, so slowly, the poison crept from my soul, and into my hands. Those hands grasp the dagger…..which draws my own blood. I wish I could stain those wings of white. Krad doesn't deserve them. They are too pure for him, too innocent, too beautiful. Though Krad is beautiful, it is in a morbid way. His wings should be black and blood-red – then I could marvel at them. I could run my fingers along the feathers and feel that they belonged on our back, in our body. Funny how I think 'our', now. I accept that my body isn't mine anymore. But somehow, I don't think it ever was, even when I was eight or nine. "The body is the first thing you have control over" , so they say. More lies, because my body will never be mine. It will always be Krad's, or my stepfather's. or the dagger's, or death's. It will never be 'Satoshi's'.

I fear Death. Death and Hell are synonymous. I don't believe in Heaven, only in Hell. I've seen angels…but not from Heaven. See, Krad and Dark are two sides of one coin, right? And I've determined they're both from Hell. Krad certainly is, and as for Dark…he's a thief. Am I supposed to believe Heaven has room for thieves and killers? So if they are both part of one coin, and that is The Coin, the one that represents what is real and true in this world – then there is no good. I can believe that. Niwa is the one good thing in this whole damn world and he's tainted by the kaitou. Just the thought that the search for good is futile…makes me want to scream. Though I live in darkness, I search for the light. But I don't think that there is any.

Do I call myself 'Hikari', or 'Hiwatari'? Krad calls me 'hikari' or 'light'. Maybe it's because I'm lighter than him. I used to be, anyway.


	2. Dark's Secret: The Needle

_Daisuke sleeps quietly in my mind…..his mind. I think it's almost funny how he can sleep so blissfully , without the slightest thought of what I'm doing, not a hint of suspicion. I creep downstairs pausing on the staircase when a rather unexpected person sitting cross-legged in Daisuke's kitchen caught my attention. did you get in here? It's like, 3 AM" _

_"I have wings too, Dark" _

_"Right. And you're here for a pleasant visit, crumpets, and tea?" _

_"Hah hah, no" _

_"Well no shit. What do you want?" I kept my distance, not in the mood to blow up Emiko's kitchen tonight. _

_"Funny thing is, I don't know myself" _

_"Your feet just brought you here?" I raise an eyebrow_

_"Actually, yes."_

_"Sure" I just shrug and pad off towards the bathroom. "Just stay out of my way" Maybe it's because it's three AM that I'm not strangling the Commander. Or maybe it's because Daisuke should be awake when I kill his friend. And I don't really want him awake right now. Oh yeah, and the fact that battling with the angel from Hell isn't exactly my idea of what I should be doing at this ungodly hour. He sighed. _

_"I'm not at work right now, Dark. I have enough honor not to capture you when you're not stealing. Krad's asleep" _

_"Yeah, yeah" I sigh and continue, pausing only at Satoshi's question. _

_"Where are you going? Spirits don't generally need to relieve themselves" I decide not to answer and keep walking, closing the door behind me. _

_"Whatever." I hear him mutter. _

_It's raining again. Not that I mind, not by a long shot. Rain is more than water pouring out of the sky, and lighting is more than electricity. I love the rain; hunger for it, even. Because I feel strong in the rain, like every impurity is being washed from me, and I'm stripped down to who I really am. I love that feeling. Even though dawn is approaching, I scribble a note on a piece of paper for Risa, and leave it on her door. She'll understand of course, she knows how I am about rain. Without so much as an umbrella or a poncho, I slip outside into the storm, letting a smile grace my lips as a bolt of lightning illuminates the area. "We haven't seen a storm like this is such a long time" I whisper, and head towards the park. Even though it's dangerous, the shelter and shade of the trees adds a mystical quality to the rain, wind, and light. The old swing creaks as I sit down on it, swaying a bit with the wind. And out of the corner of my eye, I see a form lying limp in the grass on a hill. Carefully, I lift myself up off of the old swing and move towards the –supposed-stranger. His body shakes, and his eyes are shut tight, so I kneel to inspect him closer. But this isn't any person, I notice with less-than-pleasure. It's the famous thief Dark Mousy, with an empty needle in his hand. _


	3. Risa's Secret: The Night

One night was all it took for this to happen – for this….disaster? No, I can't call it that. It's not a disaster, but it is a mess, and I don't know how to fix it; rather, I can't fix it. Without my brain giving the demand, my feet start moving across the soft carpet, stirring up little phnatasms of dust which settle on my bare feet. Yes, I'll have to clean that up later, but that's later and not now because first I need to focus on….taking care of this…..problem? Yes, problem fits perfectly. I guess I really should have known a few months ago, but I guess I was being ignorant like Riku always says. She went out for a walk this morning, but I knew without reading her note because it's raining outside, and she always walks when it rains. It's really a very soothing sound, and I feel like I need to be soothed because I hav no idea what I'll tell Dark-sama and Riku and Mom and Dad…I don't know what I'll say. Maybe I can ask the doctor to tell Mom and Dad, I wonder if she's that nice. She seems nice. I had to go to a doctor because I was getting sick every morning and I didn't know why and Riku was worried…so I went. I should have figured it out then, but I didn't, because things like this just don't happen to girls like me. It was one night…just one night…and when thing like this happen, it's because the girl fooled around too much, right? Wrong I guess, because it's happened to me. Right as my though train reaches this point, Riku bursts into my room with wide eyes. "Risa, I found Dark!" I blink and my stomach turns, and I'm afraid I might throw up again. Why was she telling me this?

"What?"   
"He was unconcious and even though I HATE that pervert I couldn't just leave him there." My mind freezes for a moment and my hands shake and I can't move.

"Risa, what's wrong with you? Why are you acting so weird?"

"I-is he okay?"

"Yeah…well, I think…..he had a needle….." Well, that gets my mind started again but I think it nearly goes into overdrive. Dark, with needles? As in, drugs? It made no sense at all.

"Oh…."

"You're still acting weird Risa. Aren't you happy to see him?" I blink, and shakemy head slowly. She rushes over.

"What's wrong with you?" She repeats "Are you sick or something, or have you finally come to your senses about him?"

"No!" I nearly shout "Riku, I'm pregnant!"


End file.
